Category: Gaming

Games I suck at, but like to play

1. Geometry Wars

Seriously. Not one damn achievement. But it’s so much fun.

2. Beautiful Katamari

I don’t know what it is but I am not a good roller. I have a lot of trouble targeting the right size stuff for my katamari and I end up bouncing off the big stuff and taking the penalty.

3. Marble Blast Ultra

I got better in the end but overall it was a far harder game than it should have been for me as a game player. Maybe because it’s controls are similiar to Beautiful Katamari?

4. Pac Man Championship Edition

I love this game. This game is so much fun. WHY CAN’T I BE BETTER AT IT?

5. Call of Duty 4 Veteran Difficulty

It’s much better than the normal difficulty and much more pulse pounding. And yet I suck.

Grand Theft Auto: Time sink.

And I thought Rock Band was bad. I sit down to play just a mission or two in GTA4 and next thing I know it’s three hours later.

While the violence, misogyny, bad language, and promotion of illegal activity stack up like thick societal woe waffles drenched in antisocial syrup, the game is still tamer than a violent movie. But even its moments where it tries to be good for a bit result in it earning its "M" rating. For instance the bowling, pool, and darts mini games are all harmless fun. There’s no swearing or violence about them. Until you realize that playing them all with Michelle results in the game rewarding you by you getting to sleep with her.

Multiplayer is amazing. A massive world that rewards careful and reckless exploration alike. I played with Lance Bubo last week and thrilled to boarding the Blackhawk chopper for a spin around Manhattan to the tune of The Who’s "The Seeker". Later when our inept piloting resulted in a midair collision during a Blackhawk duel, we ejected (out of helicopters!) to land in the water near Ellis island and launch rockets at the boats passing by to see how long the range was.

And did I mention the game is gorgeous? It’s gorgeous.

I can’t recommend it for everyone however, but since it sold more copies this month than there are stars in the sky I suppose you already know its hyper-violence and themes can at times make you feel like you are for sure going to hell for playing it and having fun. To wit, I didn’t just chuckle when one of my rockets caused a passing speedboat to pinwheel in the air into someone’s Cabin Cruiser. I actually chortled. Then felt the flames already.